Saturday, January 8, 2011
I know, it has been awhile. I was having trouble laughing like this.
I have come to realize that I am only human.
Today was a humbling experience.
After putting on the final touches to Edgar last night (it was the official reopening today) I went straight to bed. No reading. No computer. No late night snack. I felt a bit out of it, my head hurt slightly.
And it hurt throughout the night. When the alarm rang this morning, I did not spring out of bed as I usually do... Simon asked if I was ok, and I said no. I went downstairs and attempted to shower. Then just formed a little ball. My head hurt so much, and I vomited. And I said I was ok. I kept saying I was ok but could not convince Simon. I think I said it 15 times, probably more, trying to get up but just getting back into a little ball.
I did not go to work. This is not Normal me. I was ashamed. I felt so bad for the people I was letting down.
But I am only human.
Since October I have pushed all boundaries and everything was a-ok.
I had ups and downs, I was tired - but I always think back to everything I have been able to accomplish in my life so far and this is feasible for Marysol. Maybe I pushed too far.
I have often had many jobs at the same time, did art shows as I worked full time jobs, took the time out to run and swim, even trained so hard to work with the circus, keep this blog going, kept my art blog going, tried to be a best friend to many, tried to be the best girlfriend ever to a few... I think I forgot myself on many occasions.
I need to change little things to make my life better. To have a life.
This blog will have a bit less postings.
I just secured another address to post wordless pictures of the Edgar food. I will still be able to reach out to you all, to tell you what I am up to, in pictures.
And I will make my work days shorter. I think 15-16 hours a day might not be reasonable for Mid-Thirties-Marysol. I have to remember that I am a cook, and a server, and a manager, and an accountant... Edgar hours will change and I should finally be able to hire staff.
And I will indulge in more Me Time. Tuesday mornings are mine, I started taking one-on-one classes that I had only dreamed possible.
And I will smile some more. And laugh. Apparently my laugh makes you smile.